Dear Bazza,I don't particularly care about you. You have a nice skin cell. But only one. You make me want to back-comb my eyebrows. You sahould do it too. Someday I will finally get rid of you. You+Me=One hell of an ugly baby. If I saw you know I'd tell you to get the fuck out of my house. I want to humiliate you. I would build a jenga tower just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be Fat Bottom Girls.We could blank each other under the stars. Love, Sir Basil the Brave (PS get a job)
Dear Leah, I love you. You have nice teeth. You make me laugh sometimes. You should not be so gay. Someday I will be able to tolerate your hyperactiveness. You + me = trouble. If I saw you now I’ d run away. I want to have an interesting conversation with you. I would build a bear just for you. If I could sing you any song it would be willy bum bum. We could cotch under the stars. Love, Kieran (P.S. you're preedy).